Let Freedom Ring, and Boom, and Crackle

July, 2013

To those good citizens, media personalities and reporters who’ve complained about Salinas’ city-wide Fourth of July Fireworks Frolics: what part of Lawless Community don’t you understand? Last week’s drunken, out of control fireworks extravaganzas were par for the course in a town that honors murderers, has contempt for law, and runs recalls of a newly, duly elected mayor who just wants to make this a decent place to live. But “ban all fireworks?” I think not.

President John Adams wrote that the Fourth of July "ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other..." Guns and illuminations – cool. Our little Safe and Sane festivities on the front curb were relentlessly overpowered by the Unsafe and Insane explosions from freedom loving Americans (and not a few illegals) in every direction that kept pets and the Fire Department on edge all night. President Adams would’ve been proud. Ironically, that’s what happens when the city discontinues the big fireworks displays we used to have at the Rodeo Grounds – free market-loving people with ties to Nevada and/or Mexico take matters into their own hands and light the place up.

Freedom has taken some serious hits recently. From the IRS, the NSA, political correctness and more, people just don’t feel as free as we used to.  In Salinas, freedom has taken an interesting turn from what Adams had in mind. Here, it means freedom from laws about public office or from stifling community attitudes about outlaws and gangsters, historical or otherwise. It certainly means freedom to run a recall if you don’t like the mayor, but also to recall any intransigent City Councilman who feels free to disregard the rules. And how about the morons who want to secede from the city to evade the common social contract? Yep, if you can convince enough imbeciles (outside of family and friends) that you’re not going to take any more oppression from a city that already gives you the lion’s share of the services, you can do that too. Never mind the staggering costs of infrastructure, police and fire departments. I take it back, maybe they won’t need police or fire departments in the new Utopia they want to create from the ashes of municipal intolerance and greed. What a joke.

Meantime, in the Bat Cave, an outraged citizen who goes by Juan Sandoval (we’ll probably never know his real name) has donned his mask and cape and rolled the Sandomobile into town with a recall petition of his own. He’s determined to rid the city of the scourge of lawless City Councilmen and reprobate secessionists. “Sandoval” must’ve seen our distress signal illuminating the overcast Alisal skies. Finally, someone with the guts to fight for Truth, Justice and the American Way. I don’t live in District One, but if I did, I’d be signing that petition as many times as I could. Wait a minute, we’re talking about a lawless town. I could go over whenever I want, with different disguises and names, and scribble my signature to my heart’s content. I can’t wait for the finale when Sandoval dukes it out with all the jokers who think they can do whatever they want to our town. Then, I hope he turns his terrible swift sword on the gang bangers and school district simpletons who think they can make Salinas a national laughingstock without consequence. We’ve got a hero, folks, it’s time for torches and pitchforks in Steinbeck’s little burg.

With the baddies wearing stripes and breaking rocks in County Jail, we can be the city and people that God and John Adams intended: Freedom-loving Americans who honor Honor, respect Respect, and value Values.  We’ll celebrate the Fourth all year long with hot dogs, tacos, nachos and Big Gulps. Just Don’t Tread On Me if you want to mess with my fireworks.